


“The Castaway” PLUS Ficlets

by Raven_Hallowryn



Series: The Castaway [3]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Blood, Bloodbending, Multi, Sexual Assault, Underage Violence, Violence, grey morals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 18:30:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20840081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Hallowryn/pseuds/Raven_Hallowryn
Summary: M and E-Rated companion fic to “The Castaway” Ficlets.Like its companion this is a series of non-sequential one-shots derived from the LoK story “The Castaway” and possibly bridging it to its future sequel, except these are high on violent or mature content.





	1. Bloodlust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is very dark and violent tale that explores the day Nilak realized just how much like her father she can be when her loved ones are threatened. Happens before the normal ficlets 13 and 15.  
Trigger Warnings: Sexual assault, very graphic violence, bodily gore, blood, mental illness, controversial morality.  
14k words. Enjoy.)

The thirteen year old girl was waiting by the phone impatiently, pacing back and forth in a way that was completely unlike her. Nilak was patient, she got bored quickly and when it came to people she trusted she often couldn’t keep her mouth shut when she should but she had learned silence and patience the hard way and managed to be a calm person most of the time, yet today things were different.

To be perfectly honest she was worried and scared.

The news that Biya’s older brother was in the hospital after being run over by a cabbage-car had set off a lot of alarm bells in her head, the so-called accident had happened the morning before but the real question was how the hell a metalbending police officer could get caught in such a fray to the point of ending up unconscious in a hospital bed with five different fractures. Worse yet was the fact that Nilak got the news not from Biya herself but from the Avatar, as a matter of fact Biya had been AWOL since the day before and whenever anyone called her house nobody picked up the phone so Nilak was starting to go a little crazy with worry.

She decided to give up and grabbed her coat to go and look for her friend when the phone suddenly rang and she actually tripped and fell flat on her face before ever reached the receiver but when she did she was sorely disappointed.

“Nilak?” The voice on the other side of the line was the loud smoky tone of Avatar Korra.

“Mom? Why are you calling home?” It was odd, Korra never bothered phoning for anything.

“Is Biya with you?” The Avatar asked in a very ominous no-nonsense sort of way.

“No, she’s not. I haven’t seen her in a couple of days and nobody answers the phone at her house, I’ve been hoping she’d call but I got you instead.” Nilak knew her tone was snippy and not very polite but she really was disappointed that it was her mom on the line and not her best friend.

“I’m at the police station.” Korra announced somberly.

“What? Why?” The girl felt her stomach tie in knots and whole set of scary scenarios began to play in her head to stir her anxiety.

“Biya’s mom says she left a note stating she would be spending the night with us and disappeared yesterday.” The Avatar replied. That explained why she was at the precinct.

“…I’ll look for her.” Nilak decided immediately, after all that was her plan just moment ago.

“Maybe you should wait until your father gets home.” The voice on the receiver sounded indecisive.

“Daddy won’t be home for another three hours, I can’t wait that long. I’m going now.” She retorted without margin for discussion.

“Call the temple if you find her, I’ll be home in a bit but we’ll be checking with Pema often.” Apparently Korra already knew her daughter wouldn’t back down.

“Ok. Bye, mom.” Nilak was just about to hang up when her mother’s voice caught her attention once more.

“And Nini…” Korra murmured, apparently worried that she’d be overheard.

“Hm?” She waited impatiently.

“Be careful.” The Avatar advised softly.

“Mom, she’s probably fine. I’ll find her in no time.” Nilak spoke gently and sighed, trying to reassure the woman. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

With that she finally hung up yet she before she rushed out, Nilak whistled to call her pet. “Kinapak! Let’s go.”

The big black wolfcat yawned and got up from its place on the couch to pad after her, she didn’t usually need to call the beast because she normally didn’t want to have him attract attention but Kinapak always followed anyway and even though he didn’t have Naga’s nose, perhaps he could help sense Biya as well this time.

She shoved her key in its place and locked the door, then unlocked it and then locked it again just to be sure it was done right. Her brothers often teased her for the habit but she couldn’t avoid it, she’d worry about it all day if she didn’t do it.

The girl didn’t bother catching the ferry or asking one of the airbenders for a ride, instead she merely waterbent her way to shore on an ice board and secretly prayed that her father wouldn’t find out she had done so or she’d end up getting scolded over nothing. Kinapak had no trouble with her traveling arrangements, he was more than happy around water and stuck closer to her legs the whole way.

Once she reached the mainland she started the long walk that would lead to Biya’s house, she knew nobody was home but Biya was never good at covering her tracks… Well actually considering her family, she was but just not from Nilak so it shouldn’t be hard to find some clues there that her mother might have missed.

On the way to the house she decided to take small detours, hoping to find her friend at her usual hangouts- Biya wasn’t at old man Shang’s gym, she wasn’t at the mover theater, she hadn’t been seen anywhere near Purple Star cake shop or the arcade, the street urchins didn’t know anything either.

The last stop was the Sato estate- Nilak didn’t bother ringing the bell, it took too long for the butler to answer the gate so she just climbed over the wall as she always did and knocked on the back door; the only people around were a couple of maid and Minori and that was exactly who Nilak was searching for. As it was Nori hadn’t heard from Biya either but she remembered seeing the girl heading down the main street towards Kyoshi Bridge the evening before.

Minori wanted to come along and help look for their friend but Nilak told her to stay put in case she saw Biya heading back home, after all the street in front of the Sato manor was the only one the girl could take to get to her house. Nori reluctantly agreed and Nilak was once again on her way.

Biya’s house was locked as expected but Nilak rarely came in through the front door anyway, she always took the fire escape in the back and used Biya’s window. The house was actually very easy to break into, it was incredibly simple to sneak in through any of the windows but it was still perfectly safe, nobody in their right mind would ever try to invade this family’s house, not considering who lived there, it would be a one-way ticket to jail and that’s IF they survived.

The room was unsurprisingly empty and the usual chaos, if Nilak didn’t know her friend so well she might have thought someone had ransacked the place but Biya was Biya so the rumpled sheets, strewn pillows, scattered books, fallen chair, ripped posters, broken cup and stains on the rug were all perfectly mundane. She rummaged the whole place anyway in search for any clue that could lead her to her friend but found nothing, she upturned the trashcan in search for rumpled notes or anything that might help her but all she found were crumpled homework assignments and banana peels.

Nilak sighed and sunk unto Biya’s bed, lovingly caressing the pillow that sported faint old hair dye stains… Biya and her silly hair experiments.

She swallowed the lump in her throat with difficulty and gathered her knees to her chest, Nilak wasn’t used to being left out of the loop when it came to Biya, they always told each other practically everything (at least on the earthbender’s side) so why would Biya just up and disappear out of the blue and not even visit her injured sibling? How was she even taking care of herself? She was a rebel but not exactly a self-sufficient twelve year-old.

Worry and anxiety threatened to make the young waterbender crumble into tears or have a miniature panic attack, she felt her stomach twisting already and her breath came short even as the wolfcat tried to nuzzle her side in an attempt to comfort her.

…And then it hit her like lightning- Biya wouldn’t leave her brother like this, she often blackmailed him over silly things and teased him but she loved her big brother to no end, she wouldn’t leave his side if he got hurt _unless she went looking for revenge_.

With several deep breaths and the usual calming mantra repeated over and over with Kinapak’s fur under her fingers, Nilak finally stood with renewed determination and headed downstairs to leave through the front door.

Once again, it was a ringing phone that stopped her from turning the knob and stepping out. She considered not answering but then it occurred to her that it could be Biya so she did pick up, it turned out to be a nurse from the hospital wanting to inform the family the Biya’s brother was finally conscious.

Nilak thanked the woman and left a note about the call next to the phone, then she left quickly to catch the trolley that would take her to the hospital; half an hour later she was being admitted as a visitor to the bedside of the twenty-six year old officer with long hazel hair and moss eyes that were shadowed by bruising on the side of his face.

He seemed to have been expecting her and told her Biya was likely up to her neck in danger- as she had predicted the accident was no accident, a group of thugs from the tiny wannabe gang, the Ochre Oni’s, had surprised him in broad daylight and ambushed him by the pier, they trapped him so he couldn’t bend before running him over with their car and the reason they had done so was precisely because Biya had gotten in trouble with one of their members.

There wasn’t much else to go by but Nilak had more than enough. Her mother would have stormed the Oni hideout through the front door, wrecking everything in sight in search for answers; her father would have stealthily infiltrated through the back and used some of the members themselves to take everyone out; but Nilak had a different approach, she didn’t like confrontation or violence to begin with, or at least she avoided it as much as possible because it was so unnecessarily stressful hence why her methods would always be much different, some people called her a coward for this but she couldn’t be offended by the remark when it meant she always saved face and her hands remained clean.

She used the hospital phone to call Minori who, thanks to having a politician/entrepreneur/socialite for a mom and a detective for a dad, was always surprisingly well informed and had the best contacts, in fact the only person who had better sources was Biya’s brother himself. Minori didn’t have the exact information she needed but asked her to call in fifteen minutes and after the time was up she did for Nori to supply her with the last known location where the Oni’s gathered; Nilak made a mental note to ask her young friend about her sources later but in the meantime she said thank you and hung up.

It wasn’t hard to figure out how Biya got involved with aspiring gang crowd, at the age of twelve she was already a thrill seeker and although she wasn’t a bad kid at all she often snuck in on underworld cage fights and bending brawls, anything that meant adrenaline and defying authority was right up her alley and she was naïve enough to get tangled into the stupidest situations; the only thing that kept Biya out of trouble was usually Nilak and their other friends to begin with and yet the girl still couldn’t resist getting pulled into unsavory things, she even got herself the nickname of ‘Dust Blaster’ in the underground bending fight circuit because she was so desperate to emulate her hero- Toph Beifong.

The Ochre Oni’s weren’t really a gang per se, calling them that was an insult to real gangsters, they were just a group of young petty hoodlums that liked to label themselves as a gang but were more a club of cheeky bullies trying to intimidate people weaker than themselves to feel big, the only thing they were in on that was even remotely close to organized crime was collecting bets and blindly distributing illegal substances for real criminals in hopes of being recognized as a true gangsters. They weren’t even smart enough to know they were being used as scapegoats in those instances.

The hangout of the Ochre Oni’s was a bar near the red light district, it wasn’t even part of the district itself but close enough that they could claim it to be hardcore when it was really just a dingy tavern. With her hood over her head she snuck inside, mingling with a group of patrons that were there to hear the Pro-Bending match on the radio while they shared some liquor, it was very easy for Nilak to just sit back with her face obscured and pretend to listen to the match while her focus was actually on the group of six behind her.

The Oni’s there were no older than their late twenties and at first they spoke only about some boring job for a Triad member that was likely to get them arrested though they didn’t seem to realize it yet but then another one arrived, someone that looked familiar from what Nilak could see from the corner of her eye… He’s name was Mau, he went to the same Academy that Nilak, Biya and their friends went to even though he skipped class a lot more than he attended; he was older, she wasn’t sure of his exact age but he couldn’t be younger than eighteen or nineteen and he had the very unhealthy habit of trying to flirt with Biya in rather racy ways which tented to make Nilak want to spit.

The newcomer was hailed like some sort of hero and one of the others bought him a drink, Mau accepted with a yellow grin and combed his curly mud brown hair off his somewhat handsome face that sported fresh scratches before the conversation at the table shifted.

From what Nilak could pick up they were talking proudly about a cop they ran down, it was clearly Mau’s idea and they asked him if he had gotten what he wanted from it, to which he pointed at his scratched face and laughed.

“Feisty girl, huh? I admit I was skeptical when you told us about her but after people hear about this nobody will mess with the Ochre Oni’s.” One of the men hollered and smacked Mau’s shoulder, they obviously weren’t aware that beating up a cop was the sort of unwanted attention real gangsters would _avoid_ rather than gloat about.

“Yeah, too bad she ran off again.” Mau looked extremely annoyed.

“What?” A short overweight thug with a patchy would-be mustache became skittish and alarmed. “Shouldn’t we catch her?”

“Nah, what can she do now? She knows if she blabs the next person to go down will be that old hag she calls mother.” Mau waved off the matter with ease. “I’m bored with her already anyway.”

Nilak had heard enough, she didn’t need any more to understand the situation so she left the tavern and waited in the alley. She actually felt sorry for these men if they thought they could touch Biya’s mom in any way but, to be perfectly honest, she didn’t care because she was relieved to know her friend had escaped and the strange calculating calm that sometimes seemed to take over her was currently settling in like a warm blanket on her mind, reminding her of the many stories her parents and their friends had told her about their own past missions and telling her what to do.

Kinapak was waiting in an alley, there were still a couple of hours until sundown but she would wait as long as she needed to catch one of them on he’s way out- she didn’t have to wait that long.

One of the Oni’s, a guy with greasy hair and a pockmarked face, left the pub ahead of the others; from what she could tell the rest of the group was going to stick around for a while so she followed the little man for a full block until he finally turned into a secluded street.

It was fast, very fast. All she had to do was bend liquid from her water-skin to freeze him to the wall and then she just walked to him and ordered Kinapak so the beast had its sharp growling maw right up to the man’s throat; he didn’t even need to hear the threat, half a minute later he had spilled everything she wanted to know starting with who was the girl Mau harassed and explaining that they had helped intimidate her by hurting her brother because it would boost their underworld status to beat up a cop, he finished by giving her the names of the whole group along with the exact location of their headquarters and whose cabbage-car they used to run down Biya’s brother.

Nilak thanked the man with sarcasm and made sure to restrain him in a dumpster before she knock him out with slightly less approved skills. It didn’t matter, he wouldn’t remember that part when he woke up.

The priority was Biya but she couldn’t find her friend until she could get her hands on Mau so until then she decided there was something better she could do.

Finding the cabbage-car was easy, it belonged to the father of one of ruffians and was parked outside the man’s grocery store; although they had washed it she was delighted to find that the idiots hadn’t cleaned the blood on the underside or inside the grill or even on the tire rims. Nilak couldn’t drive to save her life, she was thirteen after all, but one payphone call to Minori later and she knew how to hotwire the thing and somehow got two blocks down where she needed it… Well, not quite where she needed it, she meant to park the damn thing but ended up crashing it into the lamp post outside. It was fine, that worked too, a parking ticket was good evidence and attracted the attention she needed.

It took a little while but she managed to get some alcohol bottles from a nearby store to empty down the sewers and scatter inside the cabbage-car, then it was time to get inside the place the Ocher Oni’s called their hideout.

It was laughable but they were using a basement of a residential building right next to Spirit hovel, Nilak didn’t have much trouble finding her way inside through that very burrow, people tended to avoid Spirit areas out of fear so none of the Oni’s had thought to bar the floor level windows to their base on that side. The girl broke in with ease and although they had enough things lying around to get them arrested, it was still easy to forge evidence like a trashed piece of paper with the badge number of Biya’s brother, a list of all the members disguised as some sort of work rooster, a pen impression of a note concerning illegal substances, she even added a very noticeable shopping list with cleaning materials and new tire rims on it to give the impression that they wanted to dispose of evidence.

Now the question was- how to get the police in there before the bullies could arrive and clean up her handiwork? That was easy too, she lit an opium pipe that was scattered around and dropped it on the cheap rug in the middle of the room, it started burning slowly and harmlessly on the stone floor but the smell and the amount of smoke would be enough to raise an alarm.

It was already sundown when Nilak left the same way she got in and then used a payphone for yet another call though this one was for the police and the fire department with a suspicious (and anonymous) fire complaint in the address she had just vacated.

As soon as the sirens could be heard she walked away. It was done, the police would arrest those bullies and justice would be made, she suspected running over a police officer would likely get them a very unique treatment at the precinct and the thought filled her with dark glee.

Her last concern was finding Biya but she knew her friend wasn’t likely to go home or to any of her usual places if she had just gone through something scary, she tried to put herself in the other girl’s place but other than the hospital where her brother was the only place that occurred to Nilak…

“Damn it.” She shook her head, admonishing herself. She should have looked there first.

Nilak ran to catch the last trolley that would take her all the way down to the waterfront and then she walked as fast as she could to the docks, which wasn’t really that fast seeing as she didn’t have very much stamina. The Avatar’s family boat was still there, likely because Noatak still had work to do before heading home but someone else was sitting on the floor of the vessel huddled against the seat.

She approached cautiously but she knew that heartbeat anywhere, even racing as it was, and the glimpse of blue hair tips peaking from under the person’s coat was enough to confirm her suspicions.

“B? B, is that you?” Nilak asked softly while she stepped into the swaying vessel.

“…Nil?” The girl peaked cautiously from her little shadowy corner with a whispered voice.

“Yeah, it’s me.” The waterbender kneeled and hugged her friend but she let go right away when Biya shrunk away from her touch. Alright then, baby steps then. “We’ve been worried about you.”

“We?” Biya sounded suspicious or perhaps merely disbelieving.

“Everyone is looking for you. Your mom, my mom, your cousins, me…” Nilak trailed off and noticed how the other girl’s eyes darted nervously around the deserted pier. She also noticed a rather large swollen purple bruise on her freckled cheek when the girl shifted slightly into the light cast by the sparse street lamps.

“…” Biya didn’t seem comfortable enough to reply.

“B?” The waterbender came closer again, more concerned than ever.

“Can we get out of here?” The earthbender tensed and looked away, she obviously didn’t want to be out in the open.

“Sure…” Nilak agreed cautiously. “Want to come to my house?”

The waterbender had expected some sort of cheeky remark like ‘why else would I be here?’ but Biya merely nodded so Nilak started the boat, luckily this was one vessel had had a lot of practice with and it wasn’t long before they were steering straight to Air Temple Island.

She kept trying to start up conversation, to try and figure out what exactly had happened but Biya wouldn’t speak; such a reaction frightened her, the earthbender was the kind to get angry when she lost a fight and even when she was scared she would hide it by yelling and acting tough but this person was shrinking in a corner with her face in her bloody scrapped knees- this wasn’t the Biya that Nilak knew and loved, something was horribly wrong.

When they finally docked on the island she had to help her friend off the boat and onto dry land because the graceful Biya kept tripping all over herself and shaking.

“I should tell aunt Pema you’re here.” Nilak murmured just as they rounded the corner of the path that led to her house.

“No, please…” The girl clung to Nilak with wide pleading jade eyes.

“B, people are worried sick about you.” She explained, trying to be reasonable.

“They should be at the hospital.” Biya countered stubbornly and began to walk towards the house at a faster pace, trying to avoid Nilak’s gaze.

“And they have been but even your brother wanted us to find you.” She pointed out gently but too worried to stay calm.

“I’m sorry.” Biya apologized automatically.

“You’re apologizing? You?” It was even more bizarre- Nilak was the anxious one that apologized a lot, Biya was the person that never did.

“…” The girl faltered while the waterbender waved hello at the sentry on the duty before he could come over.

“B… You can talk to me, you know?” They were not far from the house now and Nilak reached out to caress her friend’s wounded cheek, she couldn’t help it, she want to heal that lovely freckled face.

“Nil… It’s my fault, it’s all my fault.” Biya winced away from the touch and broke down, crouching against the wall of the Avatar’s home. “They hurt him because I fought back and told him to fuck off.”

“You mean Mau?” Nilak snapped coldly.

“How did you…?” The earthbender started to ask and then stopped when she saw Nilak raise a brow, she knew better than to question Nilak’s perceptive methods of obtaining information but she wasn’t surprised by them at all anymore. “Yeah, that asshole.”

“What did he do to you, B?” Nilak needed to know, she thought delivering him to the police was enough but now that she saw just how affected Biya was she wasn’t so sure anymore.

“N-nothing.” The earthbender stuttered and turned away, Nilak could feel her heart skip a beat and then thrum like a racing beetle-mouse.

“Don’t lie, you know you can’t lie around me.” She admonished almost angrily, ignoring the irony that a waterbender was better at seeing a lie than an earthbender.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Biya mumbled nervously and it wasn’t just the conversation getting to her, it was Nilak too- the girl that was never angry, the girl that never yelled, the girl that was always calm and never pried was suddenly raising her voice and getting pushy and Biya wasn’t liking it one bit.

“Did he ra…-” Nilak began to ask only to get interrupted by a shout.

“Shut up, Nil!” Biya practically yelled in her face.

“I always saw him hitting on you around school and I know he was trying to blackmail you by hurting your brother, then the jerk shows up all scratched and smug and bragging about getting what he wanted. What else am I supposed to think, B?” Nilak snapped back much too loud, curling her hands into fists.

“He didn’t get what he wanted, ok?!” The earthbender yelled back in a panic and then her tone simmered to a whimper. “I fought back…It didn’t get that far…”

“But he scared you, didn’t he? He tried to touch you, didn’t he? He hurt you!” Nilak practically accused, now seeing red and holding her friend by the shoulders.

“Shut up and leave me alone!” Biya pushed her away roughly and tried to leave towards the wooden path that led to the temple but Nilak blocked her way and forced the girl to shout again. “I thought you’d understand! I fought you wouldn’t ask questions! I just wanted you to hold me and let me cry, why do you have to dig into this?! I just want to forget it, I just want to get far away from him!”

“B, he has to pay for…!” Nilak began but just then the door to her house snapped open and silenced her when a beam of light spilled out into the night.

“Girls, you might want to come inside.” A familiar presence stood on the threshold with the warm glow behind him.

“Dad!” Nilak was surprised- the boat had been in the pier so she assumed he hadn’t come home yet. “How did you…?”

“Hitched a ride with Biya’s mother when she stopped by an hour ago.” Noatak explained quickly.

“You heard him, get in.” Suddenly another figure was standing at the door and sternly beckoning them inside.

“Mom… I didn’t know you were home already.” Now Nilak felt awkward. Had they heard the argument?

“I told you I wouldn’t be long.” Korra stated distantly as the two girls stepped inside, then she turned to the earthbender that was trying to make herself small by hiding in her winter coat and looking at her feet. “Biya, come here.”

“Please don’t yell at her, she didn’t mean to worry anyone, it was…” Nilak tried to interfere, she knew how hot-headed her mother was and she was sure that the Avatar was about to dish out a lecture about disappearing when everyone was already worried sick about Biya’s brother which would be satirical seeing Korra did exactly that more often than not.

“Nilak, shut up.” Korra snapped. “I wasn’t talking to you.”

“But…” The girl still trying to object but her mother wouldn’t even let her talk.

“But nothing. I’m not going to yell at her.” Korra stated, she then stepped around her daughter and kneeled at Biya’s level which wasn’t exactly easy seeing as she was pregnant and out of balance. “I’m not going to let anyone get angry at you, kiddo, ok? Whatever happened, it’s your choice to tell the story or not.”

“Thank you, Korra…” Biya murmured with genuine gratitude.

“Your mother called just now, they found the car that hit your brother and they know who did it, they are looking for all the perps right now.” The Avatar explained to calm the girl but she didn’t try to touch her, in fact it looked like Korra was having a hard time not freaking out her herself with her hands fisted into her clothes.

“Oh…” The earthbender seemed relieved but she also looked down dejectedly when they mentioned her mother. “I… I don’t want her to see me right now.”

“I understand but we need to tell her you’re safe, ok? Let Noatak call her and tell her to focus on getting those hooligans and we’ll take care of you.” Korra offered the compromise with a gentle smile.

“Ok…” Biya nodded nervously.

“Come on.” The Avatar stood rather clumsily and motioned for the girl to follow her. “You’ll feel better after a bath and after we heal those bruises, I promise.”

“I doubt that.” The earthbender muttered skeptically.

“Trust me on this one.” Korra smiled again but there was so much sadness in her face that such a smile faded quickly.

“B, I…” Nilak rushed to follow but Korra raised a hand to stop her.

“Nilak.” The Avatar said her name in that tone that meant there was no use arguing. “You should help your father call off the searches for Biya, I’ll take care of her for now.”

“But mom…!” The girl started to object at once but this time what silenced her was a big scarred hand on her shoulder.

“Nilak, your mother knows what she’s doing. Trust her this once.” Noatak’s voice was even and calm as always but much too cold, he didn’t let her follow when Biya and the Avatar disappeared up the stairs.

“Daddy, I know what happened. I can help her.” Nilak turned to her father, trying to make him understand. Wasn’t she the one that always listened? Korra was the one with no finesse that never understood other people’s feelings! Wasn’t Nilak the one that always helped? So why weren’t they letting her?

“No, Nilak. You are too affected by situation and if there’s anyone that can help your friend this time it’s your mother.” He sighed, as if this realization hurt him.

“…I see.” Thanks to his reaction more than his words she was starting to understand what wasn’t being said, somehow her mother had inside knowledge, somehow the Avatar could empathize when Nilak couldn’t which was rare and made the young girl uneasy but she knew that if her father told her to trust her mother then she should. However… “I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“You found her, that was a lot in itself and Biya is going to need your support, just don’t pressure her to open up.” Noatak advised wisely.

“Fine…” Nilak muttered reluctantly but her anger was still tinting her vision in shades of red and she couldn’t stand feeling useless. “Fine, but I’m not done with this yet.”

“Where are you going?” He asked when the girl shook herself away from his grip and walked to the front door once more.

“Back to town.” Nilak replied curtly but when Kinapak tried to chase her she crouched down and spoke the beast. “Stay with B. Protect B.” The wolfcat huffed but reluctantly padded up the stairs to obey.

She could feel it happening again- that strange shift inside her that her anger was bringing forth, that blanket of calm that made everything feel like a puzzle to be solved and slowed her speedy heart into an even pace, that sensation like she was watching her life from the back seat, that warm feeling that turned her constant anxiety turn to background noise and made her hungry for things she knew she shouldn’t want.

“Why?” Noatak enquired, filled with suspicion.

“Might as well tell Biya’s brother she’s alright.” The excuse rose to her mind with ease and she didn’t bat a lash as she uttered the deception.

“…Are you lying to me?” He seemed to be concentrating on her very hard but whatever he was trying to sense wasn’t conclusive.

“Can’t you tell?” She asked cheekily.

“…Nilak, let this go.” He pleaded, holding her hand to try and call her back to the house even as she stepped outside.

“Could you let it go if it was mom getting attacked by some asshole? Could you let it go if they had hurt me or the twins to get to her?” Nilak snapped at him in an icy hiss, he knew how she felt for Biya so how could he ask her to watch idly from the sidelines?

“No.” Noatak admitted for too quickly and his face fell in a way that would make her heart twist if only she could bring herself to care at that moment. “No, I couldn’t… But you are my daughter and I don’t want you getting into trouble and possibly getting hurt.”

“Father, you know me well. I don’t fight.” She stated, trying to get him to let her go.

“Not if you can help it.” He admitted reluctantly.

“Exactly.” Nilak nodded, calmly slipping her hand away from his grip. “I’m going.”

“Nilak...” He called out but he knew he couldn’t stop her, he understood her too well.

“Shouldn’t you be calling Biya’s mother?” She pointed out to give him an excuse to turn his back on her when he clearly wanted to follow.

Noatak did go back into the house while she left, Nilak understood he was letting her go because he respected her choice but she was also sure he would try to follow her and stop her soon yet she knew him well enough and she wasn’t about to let him catch her, not with the plan she had in mind anyway.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

Losing her father would have been easier in a crowd but given that it was far past sunset and the weather had gotten quite cold there weren’t many people in the streets of Republic City; this forced her to take a detour and waltz into the most crowded restaurant she could find where she mingled with the patrons and then snuck around the waiters and slipped into the kitchen to hide.

She knew her father would assume she left through the back door or maybe did a double take to leave through the front once he had passed her but she used neither, instead she slipped into the most secluded corner she could find and waited until the a delivery truck was all loaded and ready to leave, she hitched a ride inside, startling the delivery man when he opened the door at is first stop. She thanked the confused man and went on her way.

First she had to ascertain where she was and then she chose her route although she still took a few detours just to be sure she had in fact lost her father, when she was sure that he wasn’t going to find her so soon she began to plan out how to reach her destination; the city was very big and she didn’t have the energy to walk so far, there were no more trolleys at that hour so all she had left was…

Nilak used one of the habits she picked up from her father and pulled her coat’s hood over her head to obscure her face when she waved her hand at the first passing cab, she knew for a fact that cab drivers were likely to decline a client if it was a kid or teenager but if they couldn’t really see who they were picking up then it should be easy to get a ride. As she predicted the driver didn’t hesitate to take her where she wanted, he dropped her off two blocks away from her real destination and she paid with what little money she had left in her pocket, luckily it covered the fare and there was just enough left to buy a drink… She’d need that.

The tavern was even fuller than when she had left it and Nilak didn’t really have much hope of finding her target there, she hoped he hadn’t been arrested yet and was fully prepared to go look someplace else knowing that finding his house wouldn’t be overly hard but, as fate would have it, Mau and two of his companions were still drinking, most likely oblivious that the police was looking for them at that very moment.

Nilak ordered a random drink as discreetly as she could, praying that nobody would notice her age with the hood still up, and then sat at the table directly in front of her target. It took several minutes but at last he looked her way so she shook her hood aside ever so slightly and smiled at him, it felt like a jelly-shark’s smile on her lips but it worked- she had no intention of charming him, she just wanted him to recognize her as the girl that was always with Biya at school and, if the sudden scowl on his face was of any indication, he did.

The cool greenish drink she had ordered hadn’t been touched and she picked it up as she walked outside, passing purposely close to him and looking directly at his eyes with a defiant smirk on her lips, she knew she inherited that expression from her mother and often used it unconsciously but today that smirk was as deliberate as possible when she dunked the contents of the glass over his head and watched him yell and sputter as ice cubes slipped into his clothes. She didn’t apologize and just walked out hoping to have offended his pride.

He was easy to read, if there was one thing Nilak was good at it was recognizing a bully and Mau was a typical one who got angry easily to the point of looking for reasons to be offended, he liked power but as soon as it slipped from his control he was the sort to either throw punches or pretend to lose interest and run off with his tail between his legs- she was counting on the former option since his sort saw very little threat in women.

She waited in the dark dead-end alley next to the tavern, glad that the noise inside supplied excellent cover, she didn’t even have to wait long because a few seconds later he was running out after her still dripping green from his hair with his two goons backing him up.

“In a hurry, aren’t you?” Nilak asked when he nearly missed her silent form and walked right past.

“Well, well…” Mau turned with an angry smile of his almost handsome face and stepped right up to her, pushing back his soaked hair to regain some of his composure. “What do we have here?”

“Surprised to see me?” The girl spat out coldly.

“What do you want, um… What was your name again?” Mau laughed haughtily. “I’m sorry, I don’t pay much attention midget brats.”

“And yet you paid my friend a bit too much attention and she’s even younger than me, you pervert.” Nilak accused, she was used to being teased for her small stature and odd attitude but even though Biya was a head taller than her she was still a year younger and Nilak felt protective like the big sister she was.

That wasn’t the only reason she was protective though, Nilak’s feelings in this matter were more than just wanting to get even for her friend, it was also more than just the pain of seeing the person she loved suffer while she could do nothing to stop it.

This was a very dangerous situation but Biya had done so much for her, they had been friends since before they could walk and, with or without her unrequited crush, Nilak had always depended on Biya, the perky earthbender kept her happy and was never judgmental of her secrets nor was she intimidated by the many risks of being Nilak’s friend; Biya had even lost sight in one eye simply because she had jumped into danger head on to protect Nilak as a child and she had never once complained or worried about that sacrifice- now it was Nilak’s turn to reciprocate.

“And what friend might that be?” He crossed his arms smugly. “I know a lot of cute girls.”

“You know damn well I’m talking about Biya.” She snapped with a frown gracing her features, it was time to start her plan and the first step was using the right words. “What did you do to her, you jerk?”

“Did freckles go and squeal on me?” The man scowled but shrugged. “Believe me, kiddo, whatever that tomboy told you I did, she was asking for it.”

“Liar.” Nilak felt her nails dig into her palms, anger flared all over her body under that strange curtain of calm but she had to keep it in check, she was supposed to be a harmless girl looking out for a friend, she was supposed to sound naïve and harmless, she was only meant to grind his gears the right direction, it would do her no good to lose her cool just yet.

“She’s the one who came to me.” Mau pointed out self-righteously.

“After you hurt her brother.” She countered dryly.

“Now you’re just guessing.” He laughed and the two goons laughed with him.

“Dude, should we just…?” One of the other guys, a man with unusual big brown eyes and high cheekbones, made a punching motion into his own palm and awaited a reply.

“No, no… She’s harmless, from what I hear this kid can’t even hurt a bug.” Mau rolled his eyes and Nilak was suddenly glad for her reputation as a pacifist. “Why are you here though?”

“I can’t forgive what you did to Biya and her brother.” She retorted, taking on a purposely cheeky stance of defiance that was completely unlike the real her.

“Are you looking for an apology? Adorable but she should be apologizing to me for that rock to my gut.” Mau stepped closer and she made a show out of flinching away from his intimidating height before he grabbed her by the jaw. “Isn’t a bit past your bedtime though?”

“Let go of me.” Nilak squirmed, barely making an effort to get free.

“Mau, what are you gonna do?” The second goon, a lanky dark man with squinty eyes and a shaved head, enquired with a smirk.

“I’ll handle this, you guys can go home.” Mau announced with a shooing gesture of his free hand.

“You sure?” The big-eyed hooligan asked, staring at Nilak’s weak struggling with amusement.

“Go on.” He insisted and barely noticed when the two men left, asking each other what to do next. Mau then leaned closer and pushed until Nilak’s back hit a brick wall. “Now, where were we?”

“I was telling you to get your paws off me.” She growled, still barely fighting back.

“You know… You’re not really my type but I’ve been feeling kinda frustrated so you just might do.” His hand pulled at the fabric of her long skirt, trying to expose her legs.

“Let…go…” Nilak wriggled in his hold but his hand went around her throat to hold her steady.

“Weren’t you a bender? You’re pretty weak, at least little Yaya had some spunk.” He teased, pressing uncomfortably close and ripping her water-skin pouch from her waist to toss it in the gutter.

“She hates that name.” The waterbender growled but stilled when the hand that wasn’t on her throat roamed up to her chest. “What are you doing?”

“Oh come on… Don’t pretend you don’t know.” Mau spoke in her ear, already groping clumsily and grinding to her so closely that she could smell alcohol and cheap sugary cologne over a layer of sweat. “This is why you came, isn’t it? It’s why you sat in there and smiled at me and then tried to _tease_ me to join you out here.”

“N-no… I came here to get back at you for what you did to my Biya.” She hoped the tremble she put in her voice was enough to make him even more confident but it was getting hard to resist the urge to bend when his hands were bruising very tender parts of her anatomy.

“Your Biya? You almost sound like a jealous boyfriend.” He laughed softly.

“…” Nilak didn’t reply to that, she hadn’t expected him to be that perceptive but it could work to her advantage.

“Awww, really? No wonder she changed her mind halfway.” Mau seemed to misinterpret her uncomfortable silence to mean that he was right in his assumption. “But you know, that kind turns me on.”

“Stop touching me.” She demanded, growing increasingly angry when pulled off her coat and ripped right through her skirt.

“Stop struggling.” He order, tightening his grip around her windpipe while attempting to part her legs.

“No!” Nilak shouted though not nearly as loud as she could have. “Help! Someone help me!” She screamed, knowing full well the noise from the tavern would mute it all, it didn’t matter, she didn’t want to be rescued, she just wanted him to think she was desperate, she wanted him to lose his cool.

“Shut up, bitch.” Mau snapped and smacked her across the face.

The impact was strong enough that her head hit the wall and she fell to the ground, scrapping her palms in the landing, good thing she didn’t mind pain so much but she had to be careful not get too disoriented. Nonetheless, the girl shrieked and tried to scramble away on all fours, only for him to grab her legs and pull her back, lacerating her knees against the stony pavement in the process.

Nilak feigned another scream and kicked around blindly, but he kicked her in the ribs repeatedly until she stopped and then pinned her to the ground with the full weight of his body; she scratched at his face rather violently and he twisted her wrist enough to sprain it in return, then he pinned her arms down, ripped open her shirt and began biting all the exposed skin her could reach, tugging hard enough at a nipple to make her scream in pain for real and earn another slap so hard that her lip split and bled.

His hand reached for her underwear, ripping it too and…

“That should be enough damage.” Nilak murmured and suddenly water burst from her discarded water-skin, turning into a liquid wall that thrust upwards to push Mau back haphazardly.

“What the…?” He shouted in surprise, falling back onto the cobblestones.

“Who’s the bitch now?” Nilak stood over him, speaking quietly and dusting herself off, clearly annoyed that her clothes were damaged beyond repair and filthy.

The young man snarled and tried to stand and lash out but his legs buckled mysteriously under him and he fell against the wall before she froze his limbs to it and stood in front of him with her periwinkle eyes roaming all over his form in careful consideration.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, little girl?” Mau contorted, trying to get free from the icy hold but it was useless, it wouldn’t budge.

“You seem to have some sort of hearing impairment so allow me to repeat myself- I came here to get revenge for Biya.” Nilak’s voice had lost all air of innocent fear, it was merely low and husky as always but colder and emptier than her usual shy tone.

“And what are you going to do? Hit me?” He heckled, acting unafraid and mocking.

“No. I’m going to defend myself from your advances.” She stated very matter-of-factly.

“Excuse me?” Mau was confused at once.

“I’m a pacifist, I don’t like violence and _everyone_ knows that.” Nilak paced the ground in front him, carefully sensing the area around them to ensure nobody would witness what happened from that point on. “I’m the victim, anyone that looks at the state I’m in can tell that much, especially with my calm reputation and your violent record.”

“What are you blabbing about?” He snarled.

“I came here to find out what you really did to my friend, I came here to bring you to the police but you didn’t like it. You tried to rape me and kill me and I fought back simply to defend myself, what happened to you is just the unfortunate result of your own choices and I am not to blame.” She recited expressionlessly, staring right into his glaring eyes.

“Let me go and maybe I won’t bash in that pretty little skull.” The guy threatened furiously, slowly picking up on the situation.

“That’s a good threat, I’ll sure to remember you said something like that when the cops ask me what happened.” A small smirk appeared on her lips, it was meant only to innerve him but something inside her was pleased.

“Cops?” Mau scowled, trying to hide fear with angry mockery now. “Trying to frame me, kiddo? Gonna turn me in?”

“Hardly.” She shook her head and her smirk morphed into a grin, the taste of his fear was almost addictive. “You won’t have to worry about prison any time soon.”

“Huh?” He looked lost but then shouted in surprise and pain when, out of the blue, small ice shards shot at him and stabbed right through his shoulder, thigh, bicep and slashed superficially against his side and hand.

“What unfortunate injuries… But ice is to be excepted when you bully a waterbender and this isn’t lethal, just painful enough to make you angry, isn’t it?” Nilak stated with ease, she hadn’t even moved and that stressed him out further because he hadn’t anticipated the blow. “Yes, it made you so angry that you kicked me around until my ribs bruised.” She traced her torso where marks of his earlier assault were already blooming painful on her body.

“I’ll rip your fucking head off!” Mau shouted in such blind fury that he looked like a cage armadillo-bear but Nilak was unfazed until he uttered the next threat- “And then I’ll get that little whore Biya too!”

With grit teeth against the new wave of fury, Nilak stared at him and continued to speak as if he hadn’t interrupted.

“Of course once that subdued me you thought I’d behave, didn’t you? That’s when I scratched your eyes out…” The waterbender lunged forward in a heartbeat, clawing at his face with such force that her sharp nails actually managed to puncture and pop one his eyes. “Would you look at that!” She stepped back to appraise the damage with phony interest. “I’ve never seen the inside of an eyeball before, I figured it would bleed but it’s just murky goo.”

“You bitch! You Spirit-fucking tramp!” Mau spat out the insults under his breath, there was pained whine to his voice and he kept the, mostly, salvageable eye shut.

“Such anger, no wonder you broke your fingers. You kept trying to punch me blindly and just hit the floor.”

With that, she grabbed the closest rock she could find, with a moment of concentration the fingers of his left hand clenched into a fist against his will and she smashed the stone into them until she heard the bones crackle and shatter.

Nilak then stepped back again, he was still screaming, writhing to get free more than ever, and a small problem was arising to her plans- the ice that trapped his limbs was too cold and likely to cause frostbite or to bruise against his skin, that wouldn’t do, she didn’t need people to notice he had been immobilized.

With a flick of her wrist, the unhurt one, the ice liquefied and fell but Mau still remained pinned to the wall, except this time he was held there by a different kind of bending, by a skill that turned his body against him and turned him to a puppet in her hands. It was hard, she had to place such focus on his bloodstream that she could feel her injured head pounding painful and she knew she shouldn’t be doing this, it was more than just forbidden, it was cruel and unfair and she absolutely hated doing it but…

«I don’t care. He asked for it, he chose to hurt people I love.» A voice in Nilak’s head tried to justify the action. «He deserves cruelty…» That voice added before shifting into something almost sickeningly sweet. «And we are so good at being cruel, aren’t we? It’s a talent that doesn’t deserve to be buried all the time… It can come out just this once…»

It made sense in a perfect twisted sense to be honest, at least in the heat of the moment. So Nilak took a breath to wash away the unease that tried to rip through that blanket of calm and then focused once again on her prey.

“At some point though, you caught me, didn’t you? Hit me so hard that my head bled, my face bruised and my lip split…” As if to emphasize the words her nose started to bleed in a slow rivulet although it had nothing to do with his assault and all to do with the amount of strain of the psychic bending. Nilak ignored it completely, the coppery taste of blood on her lips just spurred her further.

“Then you grabbed me by my hair and tried to subdue me… Tried to shove something in my mouth, didn’t you? Thought the threat of death would keep me compliant…” The man’s hand moved under her will with a wet strained sound and closed in her hair, matting it with blood and pulling hard enough to get a few ripped strands tangled into his fingers. She hissed and shuddered at the unpleasant memories this brought her but then moved closer and pulled down his pants. “Pity I bit down hard.”

The blood-curdling scream that filled the air was enough to send shivers up anyone’s spine, Mau was in too much pain to articulate words but he was panting and actively crying at this point. Nilak hadn’t actually bit anything, she found him too disgusting to touch that way so she just clawed her fingers in the air and the fragile flesh between his legs twisted ferociously, another flick of her fingers and indentations started to bloom on the flaccid skin as small amounts of blood rose to the surface to feign teeth marks.

“Ops, wait, my upper tooth is crooked and this has to look real, right?” She grinned sheepishly at the small mistake and slowly dragged her hand through the air, causing an unnecessary amount of pain to correct the marks. “Much better.”

Nilak stepped back and away from him, watching the man heave and vomit from the sheer amount of suffering, he was still crying and appeared to be about to pass out soon so she couldn’t play much longer, this had to end.

“By now I guess you’d be in too much pain to keep thinking about raping me, right? Even though you’re a sick freak who likes harassing little girls… You’d probably just want to kill me and get it over with it, am I right?” She jabbed a finger to his chest in accusation and regretted it instantly when the puce covered shirt dirtied her hand.

The girl frowned and splashed water in his face at full force, it would look like another desperate bending move in the confusion of the fight but she really just wanted to clean away the acrid stench of vomit before she came close again, so close that she was pressing to him much like he had done to her earlier.

“So you tried choking me to death…” Nilak tapped her neck where he had indeed strangled her, yet, with a moment of even more intense and careful concentration she managed to tamper her own blood to make the marks of his fingers look even worse than they actually were on her dark skin though only on one side, she hadn’t forgotten that the other hand was supposed to be broken and weaker when he choked her so that side was not tampered with. “In that desperate confusion I bit you again -women are known to bite in close combat- I bit you hard enough to tear flesh… And nicked a main vessel.”

Being true to her words she sunk her teeth into his neck as hard as she could and pulled until the flesh tore, the force hurt her jaw, the sound of tearing skin and bubbling blood was eerie and the taste of sweat and blood was disgusting enough to make her gag but she did it anyway even if seconds later she was spitting to clear the sensation out of her mouth.

“Of course I managed to get away once you were bleeding out on the floor, somebody stumbled on me and called the police and the medics.” Nilak explained still somewhat grossed out and still spitting but determined to torture him to the end with her words as she finally released her bending and let him drop to the ground in the position she needed him. “Don’t worry, you’ll still be alive when they get here, or at least your heart will still be beating… I can’t guarantee you’ll survive on the way to the hospital though.”

She kicked him lightly, just enough to fix his position on the ground, and she focused of forcing some of the blood on his throat to clot so that the bleeding slowed considerably, it wouldn’t do to have him bleed out before help arrived, he needed to stay alive just a bit longer.

“You know what the funny part is?” Nilak crouched despite the pain all over her body, pain that she considered completely worth it in exchange for his suffering. “Nobody will ever blame me and everybody will be glad you’re gone… A dishonorable asshole like you won’t be missed at all and at least this way you can never hurt another person again, especially not my Biya.”

Mau wasn’t reacting anymore, she was sure he had heard her to the end but he was starting to lose his senses and black out as the maroon puddle around him grew darker and larger. At last she stood and dusted her hands, giving the dying man before her one last glance before she turned and took a breath.

«All done. It’s finished. Time to start being yourself again, Nilak.» The voice from earlier whispered maliciously in her head.

The strange calm lifted slowly, or at least it seemed slow to her but in reality it couldn’t have taken more than two seconds for the empty smirk on her face to melt into wide eyed horror. As if a tap had just been opened inside her, fear, disgust and panic started to flood her veins and the pain screamed all over her body until she fell on the ground and curled into a protective ball.

“What have I done?” She asked herself in abject horror. “How…? How could I…?” She wanted to puke much like her prey had but out of drowning anxiety this time and a sense of guilt so powerful that it made her scream and sob louder than she had ever done in her life.

Her screaming was so soul wrenching and loud this time that someone leaving the tavern actually heard it and came to check what was going on; soon there were many people around her asking what had happened and covering her with her dirty coat while the police and medics were called by the bartender and people in the neighborhood started to pry and whisper.

Nilak couldn’t really hear them, she didn’t care what was happening around her because the confusion and the guilt were tearing sobs from her and making her cry her eyes out, it was strange, she hadn’t actually cried in front of anybody for several years and now that was all she seemed able to do.

If she was honest to herself, which she really didn’t want to be, it wasn’t what she had just done (or what had been done to her) that shocked her, it was that she had let herself do it; it wasn’t her desire to have complete control over the enemy and torture and kill that made her feel guilty, it was the fact that she had given in to such a desire in the first place.

Nilak didn’t feel sorry for Mau in the least, not after what he did Biya and her brother, but she felt like a monster for having succumbed to her rage and turned into the sort of beast she hated… Why had she done it? Normally she would preferred to stay out of trouble, normally she would have been comforting Biya and clinging to her philosophy that the past was the past and she should focus on the future, normally she would feel that a life in prison was a better punishment than a quick death, so why had she lost her mind so completely?

Her chest hurt from more than just the beating and her breath came in such short rapid bursts that she thought she’d pass out from lack of oxygen soon as the panic spiraled out of hand and her heart slammed into her ribcage like it was trying to escape.

«Does it really matter? It’s done and you can’t take it back.» The familiar voice spoke in her mind again, sounding cool and reproachful. «You spend all your life trying to be kind and fair, hoping to make everyone like you, hoping to avoid confrontation. You spend all your life hiding your real potential so you can go unnoticed, you are always bottling up your own anxiety, your darkest desires and frustrations so that nobody has to see your ugly side… This is what happens when you snap, Nilak. This is what happens when your selfish side comes out, this is what happens anyone tries to hurt the things you love.»

Despite the horrible thoughts spinning in her head, thoughts that felt true and hurtful at the same time, she felt control slowly returning now that she was beginning to understand the how and the why of the situation though she did not like it.

«What matters now is that the cops are here and you have to start remembering the right story to tell.» The voice that sounded so much like hers and yet so distinctly different scolded her and she began to notice the men and women in uniform trying to talk to her and guiding her onto the a police vehicle as Mau got hauled away in an ambulance. «You need control, Nilak. Biya is waiting for you at home, she needs you, remember? Don’t screw up.»

Right, she couldn’t just breakdown, she needed to pull herself together and go through with her choices, that was what seemed most logical at that moment.

Gradually, Nilak started to breathe more easily and the crying tapered off into sniffles, she started to focus on the things around her again and noticed that the female officer next to her had a concerned look on her face, the woman looked sympathetic and Nilak figured that would work to her advantage- it did.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“Nilak? Someone is here for you.” The police officer in charge of her, Jun, peeked over the privacy screens of the hospital room as she spoke.

“Who?” A spark of dread lit up in her chest.

It was practically morning and Nilak had spent most of the night in the hospital, she had been mostly detached and aloof while getting examined and treated by a decent water-healer and quietly recounting the story she had prepared with just the right amount of dread, shakiness and confusion in her tone to make it all the more believable. Nobody showed the slightest hint of suspicion.

Jun was a kind officer with a big heart and saw things in Nilak’s light right away; the other officers didn’t even question Jun’s report or any of the answers Nilak provided to their questions, they believed her completely, she could tell by their body language and heart rates even as some tried to look impassive and intimidating and even scolded her for going to find her attacker in the first place.

Nobody told her what happened to Mau, not that they had to, but she was informed that he wouldn’t be a threat anymore and that she was free to go home as soon as felt up to it even though she might need a few more healing sessions before she was back in shape to which she replied that she had a healer at home so hospital visits wouldn’t be needed. The girl thanked them all with nervous gratitude that would usually be very real but at the moment was feigned since she had managed to become so focused on her mission again that the determined calm that smothered her fears was back- until the moment they told her someone was there for her because she knew exactly who it was.

“He says he’s your father but, um…” The police officer glanced suspiciously over her shoulder at the door and then looked at the girl again. “I can’t really tell what he looks like under the mask.”

“That’s my dad.” Nilak sighed and wrapped her coat more tightly around herself, someone had rescued the garment from the scene and she used it now to hide the ripped clothing underneath, having declined the hospital gowns.

“Shall I let him in?” The policewoman enquired softly.

“He’ll come whether you let him or not.” Nilak smiled a little nervously again but nodded. “Yeah, let him in.”

“Alright, he’s talking to the healer so just wait here.” Jun ordered and left the room.

Nilak jumped from the bed almost immediately and padded silently to the door where she stood to hear whatever was being said by the hushed voices in the corridor.

“…So she’s alright?” A deep rusty and slightly frightening voice grated nearby and she knew at once that they were the mask-muffled words of her father.

“She has some minor injuries that will heal in time but considering the nature of the assault I fear her mind is the most wounded. She’ll probably be skittish and reclusive for a while as well as uncommunicative but I’d advise you not to-…” The healer, an elderly woman with stern dark blue eyes, was trying to explain but Noatak finished her speech for her.

“Pressure her. I know the drill.” He stated dryly, his heart began beating much too fast for his usual calm demeanor and Nilak picked that up with surprise- when was the last time she sensed her controlled father so rattled?

It was so ironic that she wanted to laugh in a very unfunny and resentful way- they thought she was traumatized by the attack when she had been the one to provoke it on purpose, they thought she was scared but she was actually quite at ease except for the staggering guilt she was currently trying to process, they were worried about her when in reality there was nothing to worry about.

Nilak was so submerged in this sense on surreal irony that she barely heard as the healer spoke about her injuries, only when Noatak asked his next question did her focus return.

“And the attacker?” The masked man enquired darkly, his voice was emotionless and perfectly even but there was something so foreboding in his tone that it made the hairs on the nape of everyone’s neck stand on end.

“She defended herself valiantly, he was in pretty bad shape but alive when we found him.” Jun stepped into the conversation.

“However, he had lost too much blood and perished shortly after arriving here.” The healer added for her part, hoping that this father wouldn’t be one of those that she often saw starting a scene to avenge his daughter’s honor. He wasn’t.

“I see.” Noatak replied noncommittally and paused for a moment. “Can I see her?”

“Yes and you can take her home too.” The healer informed with relief.

“Thank you.”

The young girl rushed back past the privacy screen and hopped onto the bed, sitting as she had been before with her legs dangling and her hands clutching her coat closer to her body while she waited and tried to school her face into an innocent expression.

Noatak walked in and quietly closed the door, he was so silent that she didn’t even hear his foots steps and nearly jumped out of her skin when he rounded the white curtained screen and looked upon her.

“Nilak…” The masked man said her name with distress in each syllable, she didn’t need to see his face to know what he was thinking, it was clear in the way his colorless eyes darted from the bandage on her head to the bruise on her cheek and then the marks on her neck and even the splint that immobilized her sprained wrist.

“Hello.” The girl waved hesitantly, not certain of what else to say to keep herself out of trouble- she was always scared soulless when her father got angry because it was so very rare to begin with and right now she expected him to get spectacularly furious.

“Are you alright?” He moved closer, tracing each visible bruise with the tips of his fingers and speaking in obvious concern. The body language surprised her, it was the opposite of what she was preparing for, she had almost expected he would hit her even though he had never done so but then again she always thought that when people yelled at her.

“I’m fine, just a little banged up but nothing I can’t handle.” Nilak assured meekly but didn’t try to escape the gentle touches.

“I never should have let you walk out that door. I’m sorry, I should have…” Noatak began to ramble uncharacteristically but she cut him short right away.

“Daddy, you never let me. I walked out on my own and did my best to make sure you wouldn’t catch up with me.” She gave him that smirk that was too much like her mother’s and made her look far more confident than she actually was.

“…So you found him.” The tone changed, he turned stern and distant abruptly.

“I did.” Nilak nodded once and swallowed dryly, trying not to wilt under his glare.

“And he hurt you.” There was almost a growl to the masked man’s voice now.

“…” The young waterbender looked away, unable to answer. She couldn’t deny that Mau had hurt her but she didn’t like how it was phrased seeing how she had started the fight and done so much worse, besides, it kind of felt like her father was accusing her of letting it happen seeing as he knew just how strong she was with her skills.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” Noatak stated softly with a hand on her shoulder, apparently mollified by her lack of answer.

“You’re getting it all wrong.” Nilak sighed and rolled her eyes, exasperated. “I’m not traumatized. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, it’s that you don’t to hear this story.”

“Nilak…” He began again but she raised a scraped hand to shut him up.

“Let it go. It’s over.” She snapped just before her gaze shifted to the floor again and her voice dropped into a whisper. “It’s over for good…”

Noatak stared at her for a long impassive minute, he was accessing her and trying to determine whether the conclusions he was getting with this conversation were accurate or not and how he should handle them if they were.

At first he thought she was indeed affected by trauma and fear but now he was easily picked up what wasn’t being said, he knew Nilak well enough to know that that her supposed actions and fighting style with the attacker were very unlike her, he knew that if some lower class bully tried to touch her she could easily have him chi-blocked on the floor without even rumpling her hair and, most of all, he understood what her avoidant eyes and her guilty tone of voice meant- he had seen the same attitude from Tarrlok when they were both still children training together.

“Was it worth it?” The masked man asked stoically and she realized he was talking about getting blood on her hands on purpose.

Nilak paused to think about it and wondered if she would feel better with a different outcome and then her answer just came out before she consciously registered it- “…Yes.”

“Can you live with the consequences?” Noatak wondered, still with that same stoic but slightly pained and disapproving tone.

“I’ll manage.” She looked him in the eye at last and her periwinkle orbs were hard with ruthless resolve.

Once again he took a moment to survey her, possibly testing out that willpower of hers but she never backed down, then finally he let out a sigh and opened his arms in a tired welcoming gesture. “Come here.”

“You shouldn’t, I’m filthy.” Nilak referred to her tattered dirt stained, blood spattered, acrid smelling clothes that made her feel like she needed to be scrubbed down with bleach before she ever felt clean again but there was another meaning to her words.

She felt uncomfortable about physical contact but not for the reason the healers had assumed, it wasn’t that she was suspicious or scared of being touched, it was that she felt unworthy- she didn’t think she deserved the comfort of a hug when she had just willingly destroyed a life. Why would she deserve to be held and comforted by her father when she had likely cost some other parents their son? No matter how much she thought Mau had deserved his fate, she still felt sorry for the people that might miss him.

“I don’t care.” Noatak replied in a flash, abruptly snapping her away from that train of thought when he pulled her into a warm embrace. “I’m your father and I love you enough that no matter how dirty, bloodstained or damaged you become I’ll always want to hold you and keep you safe, little one.”

“Even if I turn into a monster?” She muttered into his clothes, dropping the dirt analogy at once.

“Nilak, you are a good girl with a big heart, you are my pride and joy. I don’t believe you can be monster.” He made her look at him and cupped her cheek tenderly, his face was still hidden but his voice was mellow.

“Mom is right, you’re very smart but you underestimate the people you care about, you only see what you want to see in us.” The girl pouted slightly.

“I don’t underestimate you, I have faith in you.” Which is more than he could say for most things, Noatak wasn’t one to trust faith over fact and yet he trusted this young girl wouldn’t follow in his footsteps and become cold and cruel.

“…Thank you.” The gratitude was too great for her to express in those shaky words but he seemed to accept it.

“Shall we go home? Your friend took over my side of the bed to sleep between Korra and your pet but they should be up soon, I’m sure they’ll like to see you there when they wake.” The masked man still kept an arm around her as he spoke.

Nilak cringed when she remembered that her mother would likely have a fit when she noticed Nilak was out all night long, yet there were more serious things to consider and she really did want to see both Biya and Korra.

“Ok.” The young girl consented and leaned to him as they turned to the door.

“We should get you a change of clothes first though, and I’d advise you hide these from your mother…” He traced the now faint marks around her neck. “For her own sake.”

“I’d hide them all if I could, I don’t want her to worry.” Nilak replied self-consciously, not really grasping what he meant.

“She will worry either away but I’m afraid seeing this on top everything else tonight might hurt her a bit too much.” Noatak repressed a sigh and his hand dropped from his daughter’s throat.

“…Alright.” Nilak stared at him for a moment and the pieces of a puzzle she had shoved away earlier were starting to pop back up when she recalled that her mother had a scar on her neck too. She decided to fish for more information but first… “How’s B?”

“Better and much calmer, she wasn’t so much upset about the attack on her as she was about the idea that it was her fault her brother got hurt. She’ll be alright. I told you to trust your mother.” He replied somewhat proudly, they were walking side-by-side down the hospital corridor.

Nilak took in the answer and watched her father while they walked, apparently there weren’t even any formalities to handle so they just left the building a matter of minutes and began the slow walk down to the docks with the sun already painting the cloudy horizon in lovely hues of lilac, yellow and silver.

“Daddy…” She trailed off, wondering how to voice her question.

“Hm?” He acknowledged her question with a curious sound.

“How bad was it?” Nilak couldn’t grasp the thought very well, she needed to know more.

“What, exactly?” Noatak was baffled.

“Mom was attacked by some guy, wasn’t she? That’s why for once she can understand and help better than I could, isn’t it?” The girl asked with a scowl, she couldn’t quite believe that anyone could do such a thing to Avatar Korra without getting pulverized immediately but then again she never imagined anyone could attack Biya without getting a rock shoved down their throat either and yet it had happened.

“…It was a long time ago, before you born, you don’t have to worry about it.” Noatak dismissed the topic, clearly uncomfortable.

“What happened to him?” She insisted.

He looked at her as if considering whether to answer or not. “…Can’t you guess?”

“You…?” That would explain why he wasn’t judging her, she was certain her father would have hunted down and possibly murdered anyone who tried to hurt her mother but she didn’t like to think about him doing such a thing.

“Almost.” There was a humorless chuckle behind the mask and he pet her hair softly. “You are too much like me but you also took after your mother, she can be frightening to behold and absolutely brutal when she’s pushed into a corner.”

“Oh.” Well, that also made sense and strangely enough it made her feel a little better though she wasn’t really sure why.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“Noatak! Nini!” Korra practically shouted the names as she rushed down the stairs to reach them as fast as her rounded belly allowed.

“Hi, mom.” Nilak murmured nervously, she had managed to borrow clean clothes from Minori on the way to the docks though it meant waking up her friend and scaring the living daylights out of the kid with her appearance but Nori hadn’t minded in return for news on Biya. Now the young waterbender was fidgeting with the black scarf around her neck, hoping the marks underneath weren’t visible.

“Why are you all banged up?” The Avatar demanded to know, holding her daughter at arm’s length to examine her before she looked at Noatak and ask him as well- “What happened?!”

“I told she was looking for trouble.” He stated with a smirk, now that the mask was off it was clear he was trying to tone down the seriousness of the situation. “Like mother, like daughter.” He added for good measure.

“I’m fine, mom. I promise.” Nilak assured as the woman hugged her far too tightly to her generous bosom.

“What did you do?” Korra demanded, still a bit frantic.

“She just got into a brawl, Korra. You would have done the same.” Noatak replied before Nilak could and she understood that the details of her fight would never be for the Avatar’s ears.

“Where are the twins?” The young girl asked to deflect the conversation.

“Spending the night with Kiseki at the temple.” The Avatar replied automatically but she was determined to know more. “But, what…?”

“Nil!” Biya’s loud voice interrupted Korra as the girl rushed to tackle her friend in an embrace.

“Hi, B.” Nilak smiled genuinely for what felt like the first time that night, or better yet, morning. “How are you feeling?”

“Never mind that! Where were you all night?” The earthbender was clearly distressed and stared at the waterbender’s face with concern. “You look like hell… Please tell me you didn’t do anything stupid.”

“Nah, that’s _your_ specialty.” Nilak countered with a chuckle.

“I’m serious! You didn’t… You didn’t mess with Mau, did you? If he comes after anyone else because of me…” Biya looked positively terrified now.

“He won’t.” The smirk disappeared like smoke and a blank face took its place.

“But if he does…” The earthbender insisted and Nilak stopped her by holding the freckled girl’s face in her hands and speaking slowly and absolute certainty.

“Biya, he will never, **ever**, hurt you again.” Or anyone for that matter but nobody needed to know that yet and the mysterious eerie tone of unusual confidence seemed to be enough for Biya who nodded and dropped the subject at once and accepted the closeness at last.

Biya had been awake until so late talking to Korra that the two girls decided to just go upstairs and nap together in Nilak’s bed like they often did since they were babies, they only talked about the plan to visit Biya’s brother in the afternoon but other than that there really was no need to chat- Nilak wouldn’t push it in return for not having to supply details of her evening and Biya was just grateful for the silent understanding. They both hoped each other’s company would help keep any nightmares of guilt at bay.

Noatak and Korra were left standing downstairs where the Avatar tried to pry more information out of her lover only to discover that he wouldn’t betray Nilak’s trust and it didn’t hurt that he did not wish for Korra to have to know just how conniving and dark their child could be despite the gentle heart, he felt responsible for that side of their daughter and didn’t wish to burden the Avatar, not when she had enough on her plate already.

Korra only stopped insisting when she started feeling nauseous and he offered to help her to bed though she didn’t rest much once there and instead spent most of the time clinging to him and stating that she was perfectly alright and that Biya would be alright and there was no reason to dwell on the past, of course her rambling didn’t fool him but his arms around her and her hand rhythmically stroking on his scarred skin were the best way to soothe her.

They would be alright, all of them would surpass this bump on the road and by the time Biya’s brother was back in shape the whole event would become nothing but a bad memory, yet lessons were learned, the two girls most of all would be marked and shaped by this forever.

Nilak would always remember how violent and dark she could be, how far she could go for those she loved but she’d strive not to let that terrifying side of her take over her conscience; Biya would always recall that she had weaknesses even when she didn’t admit to them and she’d have try her hardest not to drag her loved ones into her crazy problems, she’d also remember from then on that she had people to trust with her weakness.

As for the adults- Korra would learn that time does heal almost everything but that past ghosts could still hurt if she let them and the best way to defeat them was to use that pain for something worthwhile like helping someone with her experience as guidance; Noatak would come to terms with just how far he’d go and much he’d be willing to twist his beliefs if it meant protecting his family, guiding and shielding them would always be his priority but now he knew that even if they showed a face as dangerous as his that would not stop him from protecting them. Biya’s brother and parents also learned a few things about their own mortality and the result of their absence, among other subtle epiphanies but that was a different story entirely.

Nobody would ever talk about those few days again but they would forever be a turning point for all those involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: Sudden inspiration compelled me to write this (I needed to write something dark) but I wasn’t going to post it as of yet. However, I couldn’t resist posting it anyway but avoided certain names and facts in order to avoid spoilers in “Castaway”, I think some of these facts are pretty obvious though so you might guess them but others are so misleading that you might not so… I’ll risk it.  
Mau was inspired in a person (and his gang was inspired in another group) that I actually knew long, long, long, long ago and if you understand Portuguese or some other Latin language than you might grasp the stupidly simple meaning of his name right away.  
Hints about a mental illnesses of a character are dropped quite heavily in this ficlet. Also, I don’t want to justify Nilak’s actions as those of a hero, what she did was dark and villain material and she’ll have to live with it but it goes to show that even nice people have dark sides.)


	2. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Noatak is forced to prolong a mission and misses his daughter’s ninth birthday with disastrous consequences. This is an important ficlet in the “Castaway” universe.  
Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of bodily harm on children, violence and minor gore, blood, PTSD, kidnapping attempt.  
4,537 words. Enjoy.)

He’s long since gotten used to the smell of old blood on his clothes, that bizarre intense scent that leaves a coppery tang on his tongue. He’s gotten used to it but it’s been a long time since he had to feel the rapid skittering thud of heartbeats getting crushed by his bending as easily as popping a grape in his fist… He hates it and that same time he loves it- he hates that it’s so easy, he hates the monster he can become, he hates having to abuse his skill; and then he loves that power, that ease, he loves that strength and control and the fact that a tiny piece of him enjoys it just makes him feel worse in the morning because he is not the sort of man he would trust his family with.

The mission went wrong, it was supposed to a simple counter-terrorist action, it was just supposed to be two days but it went so horribly, horribly wrong and a week later he found no way around the matter but to resort to illegal methods… And dispose of witnesses. Luckily those witnesses would have been executed anyway for their crimes and considering that they were not yet in United Nations territory the police and Council would likely overlook the matter, he had done what they sent him to do after all- the dirty work nobody else could touch.

He was worried, terribly so, not only had the assignment lasted far too long and forced him to miss out on the most important day of the year but on his way back he had heard rumors that unsettled him, stories about the Avatar and some sort of attack. That night he had no qualms with bending selfishly, he had already used his power to kill three people so what was that compared to a little waterbending to get home faster?

Everything seemed quiet outside the house until he got within ten yards of it and suddenly a huge mass of snarling white fur was standing on its haunches and snapping its massive jaws at him, triggered by the scent of blood that clung to his stained clothing.

“Easy, girl.” Noatak whispered, holding out a hand for the polar bear dog to sniff and then lick in recognition before backing down. Well, at least the guard dog was doing its job. “Good girl, Naga.”

He pat the beast’s head and then walked home, silently and carefully since it was the middle of the night. It made no difference, if he hadn’t felt it in time and ducked he would have taken a fireball to the head.

“I am much too old to be dodging your attacks, Korra.” He complained at once, wincing as he got upright, it wasn’t the age that hurt, it was the bruises and the fatigue.

“Noatak!” The recognition came with a wave of relief and the Avatar practically tackled him into a massive hug before she pulled back and smacked his masked face, he felt his nose squash and his teeth clatter against the wood for a painful moment but couldn’t be angry for it. “What the hell took you so long?!”

“Things got out of hand.” He embraced her closely, momentarily forgetting that his clothes were still filthy with drying blood and likely to stain hers. He then took a step back, held her at arm’s length and examined her from top to bottom, luckily she seemed unscathed. “I heard rumors, what happened?”

“What do you think happened? You missed your daughter’s birthday.” She admonished angrily and he decided to steer her away from the entrance so they could sit and talk on the couch.

“He came again?” Noatak’s voice was steely, hiding anxiety while he asked the question whose answer he already knew.

“He always does.” The Avatar snapped moodily. “Except this time he knew you weren’t here and I alone can’t watch her for every single second of the day.”

“Did she have her mask?” He asked hopefully, after all the protective shield was specifically designed to keep the little girl safe on what should be the happiest day of the year for her and yet was always the most dangerous.

“He tricked her into taking it off.” Korra grumbled, rubbing her head in an uncharacteristic display of exhaustion.

“How?” This honestly took the masked man by surprise.

“She’s nine, Noatak. It’s not that hard to trick a nine-year-old.” She retorted dryly.

“It is when the nine year old in question is Nilak.” He snapped in return.

“I don’t know how he did it! But apparently he mentioned you and she panicked…” Korra argued back but her anger quickly turned into visible nervousness, her gaze faltered slightly and she fidgeted with her clothes. “It got really messy, really fast.”

“Did anyone get hurt?” Noatak prayed she’d say no.

“Yes.” The reply smacked his hopes out the window.

“Nilak?” He said the name with more anxiety than he wished to reveal.

“No, not Nilak.” The Avatar shook her head to reassure him.

“The boys?” The dread in his voice escalated just a fraction but noticeably enough anyway.

“No, no. They’re fine and sleeping like rocks in their room.” Korra shook head again and waved the idea aside but before he could keep guessing she sighed out a name- “Biya.”

“Biya? What happened?” This surprised him, he couldn’t imagine a situation where the freckled girl would be hurt instead of Nilak because the latter would likely prefer to take a hit than see her friend hurt.

“She got in the way and saved Nilak almost by accident… But he struck back physically when he realized he couldn’t see their faces.” She explained with a frown, the anger was bubbling in her again and her hands curled into fists.

“Is the girl alright?” Noatak enquired, fully aware that any unsalvageable damage to Biya could destroy their daughter and even cause a dangerous rift with the girl’s family.

“She will be but her left eye… We managed to save it but she’s rapidly losing sight in it and neither I nor Katara think she’ll ever get it back, not completely anyway.” Frustration colored the Avatar’s words and made her face twist into a scowl.

“I’m surprised her mother didn’t wage war on the Spirit’s themselves.” He commented, attempting a lighter approach.

“She wanted to, where do you think all the rumors came from? The woman and her son threw the worst rage fits I’ve ever seen without so much as blinking. I’m pretty sure Koh backed off because of them because I hadn’t even had time to get there before they made him to flee with his tail between his legs.” Korra smirked, it was devoid of any joy but proud and amused anyway.

“How did he do it this time?” Noatak needed to know this particular piece of information for future reference.

It was common knowledge that Koh no longer had a physical body capable of crossing safely into the human world even with the portals open, not after what Korra had done to him, he only ever risked approaching the family on the same day every year out of an old deep seethed grudge and the promise that came with it but, without a proper body to attack, his visits always involved very creative methods of Spirit trickery when attempting to assault the children who already knew how to defend against him.

“Took over a minor earth Spirit.” The Avatar explained bitterly. “That’s why Biya managed to do what Nini couldn’t… It’s also why she’s scared of going outside now.”

“Has it been handled?” The masked man asked darkly, ready to crush any further threat with his own hands.

“For this year at least.” Korra nodded tiredly. “But I’m still worried.”

“How come?” He was too but felt compelled to ask, hoping there wasn’t more to the tale.

“Nilak won’t leave her room, she won’t talk or let anyone in, not even me or the twins or Biya, she won’t even eat since it happened three days ago. She’s feels guilty and scared and I just can’t reach her.” The Avatar’s shoulders sagged and she stared at her own feet, nails digging into her slacks. She hadn’t felt that powerless or looked that depressed and listless since the time she had spent stuck in a wheelchair.

“Is it worse than five years ago?” Noatak wasn’t even talking about an attack by Koh but there was a couple of particularly traumatic events with Nilak that they always used as measuring tools of severity in these situations and Korra understood the reference at once.

“No, but she repressed what happened then, this she remembers.” The Avatar sighed, worried in ways she could not express in words. “Noatak, she’s nine. She doesn’t deserve to feel this way yet.”

“No one does, Korra.” He wrapped an arm around her waist in a supportive embrace now that it seemed like she wouldn’t break his arm for it and appeared to need comfort. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“She won’t let anyone in.” Korra shook her head, once again looking exhausted in a way that nobody was used to witnessing.

“Trust me.” Noatak finally pulled off his mask only to kiss her temple softly in reassurance.

Less than five minutes and a few more details later he left the Avatar sitting on the couch and walked upstairs to his daughter’s room, only to find a growling mass of black fur that hissed at his approach.

Pacifying Kinapak was nowhere near as easy as calming Naga, the beast was bad tempered to begin with and although it was fiercely loyal and obeyed Nilak’s every command, it was only ever affectionate in the girl or the twins’ presence, in any other instance Kinapak was very likely to turn on anyone it perceived as a bother to the kids and would easily steal food or bite anyone other than the children of the house.

Nonetheless he managed to subdue the creature with an offer of dried tiger-seal treats and it wasn’t long before the wolf-cat backed down completely though still attentive and protective of the door.

“Nilak?” Noatak knocked lightly on the sliding door, his tone questioning but soft in that tender way reserved exclusively for his children, that tone that nobody would ever believe possible from the frightening former revolutionist. “Sweetheart, it’s daddy.”

There was a long stretch of silence that almost led him to believe she was asleep but at last Nilak’s cool girly voice snapped from inside the room- “…Where were you?”

“I’m sorry, I-…” He began to explain but she caught him by surprise and cut him off sharply.

“You said you’d be here!” The little girl shouted, still concealed by the closed quarters but allowing her anger and hurt leak out like toxic smoke spilling from every crevice around the door that separated them, a door that bore cracks and dents from where Korra had undoubtedly tried to force it open while he was away.

“I know.” Noatak nodded pointlessly, remaining calm despite the guilt that corroded his insides. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“Adults aren’t supposed to make mistakes!” Nilak yelled in retort.

“Darling… Adults are the ones that make the most mistakes.” He countered softly, leaning slightly against the polished surface of the door. “And all we can do is try to fix them and make up for them.”

There was a slight silence of hesitation before she snapped back with- “…Then fix Biya.”

“I can’t, sweetheart.” Korra, Kya and master Katara had already tried, if they couldn’t help then how could he? The best he could do was apologize. “I’m so sorry.”

“…” Nilak refused to answer and the quietness that fell was riddled with grief.

“May I come in?” Noatak enquired after a long silent stretch.

“Go away.” The girl mumbled.

“Please, Nilak.” The now unmasked man pleaded, he could very well barge in but he’d rather have her trust. “I miss you, just let me look at you.”

Once again she refused to reply, as always Nilak wanted to give in but was too stubborn to allow herself to do it so Noatak took her silence as consent and slowly slid the door open to slip inside. The child was sitting in the dark with only scraps light from the temple paths and the sentry lookout as well as moonlight spilling in beams of silvery glow through the window, it was a fairly clear half-moon night for late winter but still frosty and cold.

She always felt safer in the dark pretending she wasn’t really there but he could see her sitting on the floor between the bed and the wall, her navy nightgown was rumpled and hanging off her shoulder and her long frizzy hair was a mess as she hugged her polar-dog plushy to her chest; a pretty white mask with bright cornflower swirls, tiny dots, a pale blue crescent moon on the forehead and beaded feather tassels on each side rested on the floor at her feet.

For a kid she looked terribly tired, her eyes seemed sunken but puffy and red from long bouts of crying and she just looked listless and distant, leaning her head against the wall.

“Oh, sweetheart...” Noatak sighed, the sight was almost physically painful to him, he hated it so much and just wanted to see her smile again.

“Go away.” The girl bossed snippily without looking him in the eye.

He ignored the order and slowly walked towards her, sitting quietly next to the girl only for Nilak to recoil slightly in stubborn reluctance.

“Mama says you haven’t eaten… I guess her cooking didn’t get much better while I was gone, did it?” Noatak joked to lighten the mood. “Shall I make something for you?”

“…No...” Nilak frowned but the hesitation in her voice was a dead giveaway.

“Is that your stomach I hear grumbling?” He commented lightly and indeed there was a growl to be heard.

“…” Her dark cheeks actually flushed but pigheaded as she was Nilak refused to answer.

“You can eat in your room if you want.” Noatak added, hoping that she would be less stubborn if she didn’t have to leave her little safe haven and interact with anyone else.

“…K.” She gave in at last, albeit reluctantly.

“Thank you.” He rose from his spot and left the room as unobtrusively as always.

Korra was pacing the living room anxiously and only stopped on her tracks when he appeared but Noatak merely tossed off his crummy blood-stained black coat and made way for the kitchen, after a quick check of what they had he ended up scrambling some eggs with vegetables and cheese since it was quick and Nilak liked the dish so long as he topped it with plenty tomato-carrot sauce.

With a plate in one hand and a cup of fruit juice in the other he assured Korra that everything would be alright and headed back to their daughter’s room, bypassing the guarding wolf-cat that still sat at attention in front of the threshold.

“Here you go.” Noatak placed the food in front of Nilak and then stepped back to close the door, by the time he returned to sit beside her she was unceremoniously shoving egg into her mouth. “Careful, it’s hot.”

“…” She didn’t reply but had to chug down juice, having clearly burnt her tongue.

“So my little lady is nine years old already… Getting big, aren’t you? Soon you’ll be taller than mama.” He made small talk, watching the short little girl fondly, it had only been a week but he felt like he hadn’t seen her in months with how badly he had missed her. She merely scowled at the words and kept eating without looking at him and the reaction conjured needles in his chest. “…Nilak, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to miss it, I’ll make sure it never happens again.”

Nilak still didn’t look at him, she chewed and poked at her food unenthusiastically and then muttered in a small hesitant voice- “…I was scared.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Noatak asked, hoping to hear a more complete story.

The girl swallowed another bite of food and then set the half finished dish aside and stared down at her lap for a long silent moment. He actually thought she was shutting him out again, Nilak took so long to say anything that he thought she wasn’t going to tell him anything but just as he was about to make a move the words started spilling nervously and brokenly past her lips.

“That… That person, he… He had your voice.” The little girl explained, hugging her knees to hide a slight tremble. “I was playing with Rohan, Nori and B… Hide and seek… He was standing by the trees and he had your voice and he told me… He said ‘Nilak, my mask was stolen, I need yours just for a little bit’.”

“And you gave it to him?” It suddenly made sense why Nilak had fallen for the deception so easily and once again guilt gnawed his insides because if he had been there she would have no reason to fall for the trickery. The girl nodded and he encouraged her to continue. “And then?”

“I wanted to trust, I wanted it to be you, I missed you and you never missed my birthday before but then he… He said I should smile, that I looked better when I smiled.” Nilak mumbled and then her tone turned defensive- “But you always told me I shouldn’t, you and mama said I shouldn’t show things on my face on my birthday.”

“So you knew it wasn’t me.” He deduced and she nodded once again.

“I tried to run away.” The girl frowned, pinching her brows just like her mother did when angry or upset. “He grabbed me and I hid my face in my hands and I screamed but nobody knew I was there.”

“You always were the best at hide and seek, sweetheart.” Truth be told, she was good at the game because she could sense where the other kids were and had learned to go unnoticed but how she did it didn’t matter, he just wanted to praise her and ease the tension he felt reflected in her racing heart. Noatak’s arm snaked around her shoulders and she buried her face in her knees but leaned closer to the embrace. “Did he hurt you?”

“Scratched me. Tried to pull my hands away.” Nilak muttered, her heart still beating a mile a minute as she held up a hand still marked with practically healed scratches.

“And did he?”

“N-no… His… His fingers, his arms, stopped working properly, he dropped me… He got angry.” The girl looked a little confused at the memory.

«Bloodbending again.» Noatak thought to himself.

It wouldn’t be the first time she panicked and resorted to the skill without even noticing and it was normal that she didn’t recognize the signs yet, so far all he had taught her about bloodbending was only in the realm of sensing and self-control, he still wasn’t convinced she needed to know more than that but it was becoming clear that she did if full restraint was ever to be achieved. After all, this time it had been an attacker but what if any of the other children had been there at that exact moment? Would she had known how to hold back or simply lash out to everyone equally in her fear?

“Did you run?” He asked, trying to stir away from the dark thoughts.

“Yes, but he didn’t let me and he caught me again…” She swallowed dryly and her heart beat hard enough that it felt like a drum against her ribs. “He tried to see my face but then the ground was shaking and he was sinking, there was sand in his face and Biya was running and shouting and… and…”

“Yes?” Noatak encouraged when her rambling stuttered to a halt.

“Biya stood in front of me… She had a mask on and he shouted and his voice changed and he tried to hurt her but she shoved more sand at him and bent a big stone and I threw water...” Nilak’s disjointed rambling continued but he could put the story together.

“I thought Biya was a non-bender.” He commented as he rubbed her arm soothingly when she started to tremble even more.

“Hm…” She bit her lip lightly, clearly hiding something. “Turns out she’s an earthbender.”

“I see.” Noatak accepted the reply and decided to get back to the matter at hand. “So you fought the bad man?”

“He wasn’t a man. It was a monster.” The girl retorted stubbornly. “We fought him but he moved too fast and tried to bite me but Biya got in the way and he hit her and her mask broke and a little bit of it was sticking out of her face between her hands and everything was red and the monster was yelling and… and…” Nilak had to stop ranting in order to suck in shallow burst her air, she couldn’t breathe properly through the distress and ended up curling to his body and sobbing.

“It’s alright, baby. You’re safe. I’m here now.” He held the girl on his lap and hugged her closely, petting her hair and whispering words of comfort.

“Daddy… I screamed and I was so scared and angry and the monster fell back twitching and making noises and then Biya’s mama and her big brother found us and then everything was shaking and there were stones everywhere and… and… There so much red and Biya wasn’t moving!” The panic raised her voice to a shaky screaming pitch but he held her through the whole outburst.

“Darling, Biya is alright now and the monster is gone.” Noatak assured the child, cupping her cheeks to make her look at him, to force her to focus and breathe again. “You’re safe.”

“But now her eye is like granny Toph’s. She says it’s all black…” The girl whimpered miserably. “It’s my fault… It’s all my fault…”

“Nilak, it’s not your fault. And what Biya did was very brave, she saved you and that injury is a medal of honor that shows that she was strong enough to fight a big bad monster that most adults would have run away from in fear.” He countered, trying to make her see a brighter side of the situation, trying to make her feel loved rather than guilty even though he had to smother his own guilt and rage to do so.

“She wouldn’t have to fight a monster if she wasn’t my friend!” Nilak countered in a shout, tears cutting down her dusky cheeks. “It’s my fault… He always comes for me and everyone gets hurt because of me!”

“Nilak, that’s not…” He started to patiently rebuke her but she wouldn’t allow it.

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” She shrieked loudly enough to drown out his words and pulled away, her face now mottled crimson and twisted with anguished anger. “Don’t be like mama! Mama says it’s not my fault, mama says it’s not because of me, mama says I did nothing wrong but that’s all lies! I shouldn’t take the mask off, I shouldn’t talk to strangers, I shouldn’t hide so far away, I got Biya hurt, I could have gotten Kal and Rei and Rohan and Nori hurt too, it’s always on _my_ birthday, if it wasn’t for me there wouldn’t be monsters! It’s my fault!”

“…Alright. I won’t lie to you.” Noatak surrendered, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture as she huffed and eyed him suspiciously. “Yes, that monster comes for you every year. Yes, Biya got hurt to save you. Yes, you shouldn’t have taken off the mask or have run off so far away in the first place.” He validated all the things that he knew he couldn’t deny, this seemed to calm her but her anger merely simmered into sadness that he had to correct. “But it’s still not your fault. That monster comes after you for reasons that are not your fault, and I should have been there to protect you and because I wasn’t the monster tricked you and that’s not your fault either.”

“Liar.” She scowled and crossed her arms but no longer yelled.

“Nilak, I would never lie to you and mama only does it to make you feel better and to protect you.” He explained patiently.

“She shouldn’t. She shouldn’t even talk to me, everyone should get away from me.” Nilak announced with such complete certainty that it broke his heart.

“Sweetheart… Nobody wants to be away from you. We all love you, even Biya loves you and I’m sure she doesn’t regret saving you. It’s our choice to stay by your side so you shouldn’t shut us out, you should be happy to have people that love you so much and are happy you were born.” Noatak explained trying to be patient rather than show how depressed he felt from seeing all that pain in his daughter.

“But… But I don’t want to hurt anyone…” The little girl hiccupped, swiping at her wet eyes with her sleeves.

“Baby…” He repressed a sigh and pulled her into another gentle embrace. “I know. It’s not your fault, I promise, it really isn’t.” If anything it was his for not protecting her well enough but that was clearly the wrong thing to say, this wasn’t about him after all. “It won’t happen again, I won’t let it happen again. I swear.”

“Daddy…” She finally seemed too worn out to keep fighting and buried her sobbing face in his chest, once again he was reminded of Korra and not for the best of reasons.

“I’m here, Nilak. It’s ok now.” Noatak murmured over and over, rubbing her back quietly.

“Don’t go away again.” The child begged after several minutes pouring out the tears she hadn’t wanted to show and clinging to his clothes. “Stay.”

“Of course.” He agreed with ease. “Are you tired?”

Nilak didn’t want to answer, she didn’t want to let herself relax but she nodded, too worn out to deny it.

“Bed time.” Noatak announced with a kiss to her forehead.

“No!” She panicked again. “I can’t… I’ll dream…”

“Do you want to sleep with me and mama tonight?” He offered, hoping she’d feel safer that way.

“Mama…” The girl hesitated.

“Are you angry at her?” Noatak wondered, it wasn’t rare for this mother and daughter duo to disagree and get angry with each other.

Nilak shook her head but fidgeted in his lap, twisting the edges of her shirt between her fingers. “I said bad things to mama.”

“She’s not angry, she just wants to see you smile again.” He assured confidently. “So, what do you say?”

Nervously, she nodded once again.

“Alright.” Noatak smiled lightly and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he got up to carry her to the other room. “I’ll protect you, Nilak.” Always, he refused to make the same mistake again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: After a whole month unable to write anything of worth here’s a ficlet to start getting back into my writing groove. “Castaway” will be updated next. Wish me luck.  
Anyway, here’s some notes about this ficlet: back in “Castaway” you might remember that when Korra defeated Koh he promised to come back every year for as long as it took to take revenge on her and all her descendants. Obviously the day he chose is the day he was defeated, aka Nilak’s birthday, and his first and main victim is generally Nilak- Ummi’s reincarnation whose face he failed to acquire on that day, the prize he still can’t resist.  
As a protective measure everyone in the Avatar’s household has a mask to wear on Nilak’s birthday (Aga and Senna were quite happy to make masks for the kids and Noatak actually made Korra’s) and Korra always manages to pull it off as something fun, like a private little annual masquerade of sorts, she does this so that the kids can have fun without realizing how alert and defensive the adults are for those 24 hours. Obviously this also means that anyone that happens to drop by (for, say, a birthday party perhaps?) also needs to wear a mask and in this tale Biya’s just so happened to be made of porcelain. Also Biya doesn’t go completely blind from her injured eye but seeing as she only sees vague shadows from it she might as well have.)


End file.
